Christmas–tis the season to be jolly, eat heartily, and be with those whom we love the most. The season for friends, family and everyone’s favorite: presents.
It’s the season of giving.
Some people, however, are really bad at giving. You know who I am talking about: great aunts, uncles you only see once a year, co-workers. And because you are a nice person, you really don’t want to tell them that the best part about their gift was that it came with a gift receipt.
It would actually be less complicated if they included a gift receipt. In that case you just smile big, send out a hardy thank you, and ponder what you will exchange it for at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Unfortunately, the “bad gifters” seldom include gift receipts. Maybe it is because they are in denial and aren’t quite ready to face the facts that you might not like the desk set they picked out. Maybe it’s because the Citgo they bought your electronic tire gauge from doesn’t give gift receipts. Or maybe, their inability to ask for a gift receipt from the cashier is simply indicative of their overall degradation of the gift giving process.
Either way, your next step is of course to re-gift. Below I have compiled a list of a few things you should re-gift, and a few that you might just want to toss out.
- Flashlights (I promise you that you will get another one by the time Christmas is over.)
- Fondue sets (If it comes with chocolate, you should keep the chocolate for yourself.)
- Talking fly swatter
- Any DVD (You either already have Netflix or you celebrate Christmas in Alabama, in which case you would need a VHS anyways, so re-gift away my friend.)
- The 12 days of Christmas (It’s a lot of animals!! 31 to be exact. And the six geese are laying. Geese can lay 7 to 9 eggs at once. If you’re doing the math, that can be 54 geese before New Year’s. That’s a total of 85 animals–tight quarters, even for your spacious two bedroom townhome.)
- Chia Pet (Only cool if it grows food, then you have to consider how much ranch you need before your broccoli doesn’t taste like a terra cotta turtle.)
- Laser lights
- Any Book
- Jello Mold
- Turtle Lamps
- Fruitcake (Please throw this away! No one has made a fruitcake since 1945. This gift could have been re-gifted for years. Do the world a favor, and throw it away.)
- Personalized pen set
Nevertheless, you are bound to get a gift or two this holiday that you will not like. No matter what the circumstance, you should not be rude about it. Remember that Christmas is a time for love and joy, so just smile great big, say thank you, and pass along the holiday spirit by re-gifting that Slap-Chop – because like a real American, you use a food processor.