Dave Grohl is arguably one of the most important Rock musicians of my lifetime. He was the drummer for quintessential 90s band ‘Nirvana.’ He is currently the lead singer and guitarist for the band ‘Foo Fighters.’
Add to that list: “champion of values congruence.”
(be warned– although this video is bleeped out, the language is still pretty callous)
There goes my hero… putting that guy in his place.
I’m not sure how many times I’ve watched that video now, but every time I do there is a message that comes through: “quit tolerating other peoples’ B.S.”
As Alpha leaders, I am asking you to do the same– Quit tolerating B.S. in your Brotherhood, in your Lodge, and at your events.
Alphas don’t rise or fall overnight. Rather, a series of seemingly inconsequential events result in a much larger effect. This goes both ways, it can be positive or negative. A couple of times a month you will be met with a scenario. “Do I put a stop to this or is it just harmless shenanigans?” Whenever you think a situation might be sending the wrong message, I encourage you to channel your inner Dave Grohl and tell someone to ‘get the heck out of here.’
We’ve all seen Brothers falling short of their obligations– they don’t pay dues, their grades slack, or they act inappropriately at Chi Psi athletic events/parties/etc.
The first step is to directly address the issue with the Brothers in a simple conversation. Ask clarifying questions. Offer resources. Set a new expectation for performance. Then, evaluate their progress.
If, instead of progress, the behavior continues to get worse than it’s time for an intervention– Dave Grohl Style! Get fired up. Show some passion. Let the troublemaker know that their behavior will not be taken lightly. As an Alpha leader you’ve got a difficult enough task just trying to lead your men, let along when you’ve got people working against you. Do not tolerate that nonsense.
Alumni weekends, homecoming, and football/basketball games are key times when we see alumni Brothers. Let me let you in on a little secret… when they come back to campus, they want to have fun. Compared to their current environment, a college campus is like ‘Never Never Land.’ They can get rowdy and cause some trouble. As an Alpha leader, you have every right to put them in their place if they are mistreating any current pledge or Brother.
Example: “Brother, I’m glad to see you back in town, and I hope that you’re enjoying yourself. However, what you’re currently doing is not in-line with what this Alpha is about now. You may have done stuff like this as an undergrad, but the men that you helped recruit have led the Alpha in this direction, and we’re trying to make it even better. We need Brothers like you to be involved, but if you’re going to act like this then you’re setting an example that nobody should or will follow. Please leave.”
Anybody that comes to your events, your Lodge, your formals, etc. is subject to this level of criticism.
Imagine this– your Alpha is hosting a social event. Recruits, girls, and friends of the Alpha are present. One of the non-Brothers starts acting up. Because the recruits and girls don’t know every Brother, they can only assume that this person is a Chi Psi and that their actions are accepted among the group…. treating women inappropriately, violating RM policy, getting into fights are all activities that cannot be tolerated.
Ask these people to correct their behavior. If they don’t, then ask them to leave. You cannot afford to let such people be such huge liabilities.
Just remember, you have every right to channel your inner Dave Grohl and put people in their place. “You don’t come to this Alpha and fight. You come to this Alpha and dance… GET THE HECK OUTTA HERE!”