Dr. Taylor’s Alpha Medical Alert

Only a few months ago college Seniors around the country were being unusually lazy. The highly contagious condition of Senior-itis had surely spread as was the season. Senior-itis, a condition of apathy in seniors, which often strikes in full force during the second semester of ones senior year is mainly due to a shift in focus towards post-college life. Symptoms of Senior-itis include but are not limited to skipping class, sleeping unusually late (even for a college student), lower GPA during final semester and the overuse of phrases such as, “C’s get degrees”.

But now it’s summertime, school is out, the weather has warmed up and Senior-itis season is over. Even still, we must not let our guard down because a lesser known form of Senior-itis is out there and it affects everyone, not just seniors. Thankfully the season for this condition has just begun and you still have time to avoid catching it.

The condition… Marg-ar-itas. (Click here for pronunciation)

Marg-ar-itas, much like Senior-itis affects the apathy gland and distracts the infected from the work he or she has to do. This can be a devastating condition for your Alpha, as although school is out for the summer, there is much work to do within an Alpha to keep the Alpha in tip-top shape.

The first onset of Marg-ar-itas often occurs during trips to the beach, concerts, long days at the pool and/or family vacations. From there the condition can spiral out of control as your Marg-ar-itas causes you to forget about all the work to be done before you return to school.

Now I am not saying you shouldn’t go to the beach, pool , concerts or family vacations; however, awareness is the first step in prevention.

Symptoms of Marg-ar-itas (Normally occur in this order)

  1. Salty lips
  2. Slight Numbing of the face and hands
  3. Unusually cheery mood
  4. Excessive Singing
  5. Short-term Memory loss

Sounds Terrible right??

You are probably asking yourself, “Self, what can I do to avoid catching the Marg-ar-itas???” Well you’re in luck because throughout the summer I will be helping you to avoid coming down with the Marg-ar-itas. So stay tuned to this blog series because Marg-ar-itas has been known tequila Alpha.

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3 responses to “Dr. Taylor’s Alpha Medical Alert

  1. Thanks Dbrown but I’ll have to give Teri the credit for that one. She did do a great job though.

  2. Pingback: Dr. Taylor’s Alpha Medical Report – Recruitment Marg-ar-itas | Chi Psi Fraternity·

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